Today was the last day of the Maine event and it was heartfelt as much as it was bittersweet. I am drop dead exhausted, even more so than after PT yesterday, but I am alive and full of energy all the same. it is a weird feeling to say the least but it is a good one. The last day was only a half day, there was a great presentation from the father from last night along with the last of the breakout sessions that had some great information. But it was after the closing remarks that the magic happened. Running around and saying my goodbyes I ran into a man that had just lost the tug off competition. I thanked him for his effort and that it was a pleasure to shake his hand. He took me in for a hug and whispered in my ear “you are worthy, you are worth it, and you are needed in this world” or something along those lines, I was a bit emotional already at that point. The other gentleman in the group told me to speak up and that I had a lot to share with the group. That next year I should be more vocal and share my experiences with the group at large rather than be quiet. It hit me almost as hard as the chat with another man regarding boundaries that came out of nowhere 2 nights prior. It was powerful and something that is still sinking in.

I also got to say hello to the “heroes” of the mens group in person, including the man that started it all. It was hard to not break down crying when I thanked them for everything they have done and promising to do even more for me to help achieve my goals and dreams. This group is powerful, it is awe inspiring to see what men just like me can do with the tools we are given and the support (or kick in the ass) that we are lacking in today’s world.

This weekend has shown me a lot of growth that I need to do to be the man that I was meant to be. I need to get physically fit (learned from the tug off and the PT yesterday), I need to get mentally sharp. I need to find that relentless passion that I have buried deep within my fear and anxiety and let it loose upon the world. I need to speak up and be heard because somewhere there is a man just like me that needs to hear it. I guess you could say that is why I started this blog, to give a louder voice to myself in the hopes that at least 1 person reading it takes away something fruitful. It is also a selfish endeavor to some extent as it allows me to express myself in a way that I haven’t before, in public.

Over the course of the next year I will be implementing a lot of changes. All for the better, all to meet my goals and to achieve my vision. I will be rewriting that vision as well because this weekend has changed me. I am no longer the man that I was just a few days ago. I am not even the man that I was yesterday. Today I am unstoppable and nothing will hold me back, least of all myself.