It’s T- about 6 hours till the civil union and I find myself reflecting on a few things. The first and foremost is just how different life has turned out for me than what I was told I would amount to (which was south of 0 according to some members of the family). I have pushed through so much adversity and strife, depression and anxiety, self doubt and low self esteem, that to find myself at this moment is nothing shy of a miracle.

Growing up I never expected to live past 21. I never planning for anything because my plan was to have it all end after my first legal sip of booze. At the time a wonderful woman kept me going and showed me things to live so, not that I think she realized what was going on in my head.

I graduated high school by the skin of my teeth to prove a point, that I could do better than my mother did (who was a dropout). Since then spite has been a powerful motivator. As I say early and often, the best revenge is success. I’ve advanced through two degrees at an esteemed university, a career that is booming and now a job worth believing in the mission and the soul of the org I am now employed by. I am starting a business to glide into retirement with and to keep me busy in my later years. To say things on paper are good is an understatement.

So now I look towards another of the rules I placed upon myself a number of years ago, to die alone. Be it a misguided attempt at saving “someone” from myself to a fear of commitment for various reasons here I stand ready to shatter that rule… and it feels, indifferent. What I would assume would be monumental is not much more than a whisper this morning as I count the hours to my next step in life, binding my life to another.

While the lead up has been anxiety inducing and a few sleepless nights pondering what will and what will have to change or the new direction I find my role in life to be shifting towards (that of a protector, a provider and a presider to quote the OOM creed) turning out to be as simple as putting on a new pair of shoes was something I wasn’t expecting.

I find myself in a state of zen if you will this morning, looking to the future with a lens’ of prosperity and positivity that has been sorely lacking in my life. it really is amazing what the love of a good woman can do for the heart and soul of man.

So there we are, a few hours till I don a new ring I’ll be lothe to remove and make a promise that never thought I would in my number of years on this planet we call Earth.

Here is to the next stage in a life I never thought I would live and to a future that looks to be bright!